Roger's Marathon

"What a feeling, to be in a marathon again!"

To find myself on the start line of a marathon, after several years of injury woes (and the accompanying battle between optimism and despondency that comes with them) was itself a miracle for me. Less than a year earlier a couple of miles had been enough to bring back knee and foot pain as inflamed tendons and muscles protested, telling me I should give up running and do something more sensible. Still, somehow through a combination of physiotherapy, off-road training, the much vaunted egoscue exercises and most of all divine grace (without which the other items listed would be futile) I had made it to Rockland State Park ready to run.

After Sri Chinmoy's opening meditation and recitation of his specially composed marathon prayer, the horn sounded and a thousand or so runners each began that epic personal journey we call the marathon - immediately I was overcome with happiness and found myself laughing and almost crying as I ran - what a feeling, to be in a marathon again!

I had told my friends my target was 3:30, the sort of time I used to do pre-injury when my best had been 3.22, at the Sri Chinmoy Self Transcendence Marathon in Battersea Park (1999 I think). Secretly though, I felt my low mileage training had included more "quality" than usual, as evidenced by a half marathon PB at Stonehenge in May, and I was harbouring unvoiced hopes of a marathon PB.

I knew I would need to come through half way in about 1.35 to have any hope of hitting my secret target, so I went off in a group including Dipavajan, Prabuddha, Stuey and many other guys who looked like they were well prepared. The pace was just over seven minute miling, then settling down nearer 7.30; miles began to roll by as we enjoyed music and poetry from enthusiastic spectators and the sound of our names being called out by friends at the drink stations each time we passed.

It was great to see guys like Harashita, Ongkar and Janaka out there, each enjoying a bigger too-injured-to-be-here-but-running-anyway miracle than I was! Ongkar especially spurred me on with his enthusiastic support when I passed him - so cheerful even though he must have been pushing himself through a lot of pain.

Half way came up at 1.35.14 - bang on target. Then I found my pace slowing, though not too much, and I still felt a PB was a possibility. With a longest training run of about 19 miles I was soon in "uncharted territory", surprised at how alive I felt, if a bit drained and wobbly. Then I slowed further and a PB became touch and go - I hoped I would be able to pull something out of the hat in the last lap, but started to tell myself 3.30 would be good enough after such a long layoff, and that was most certainly "in the bag".

Then, at mile 24, something happened. You know what I'm talking about, a "mid-race spiritual experience". I don't feel like trying to describe it fully, as words won't come close, except to say that I was suddenly, completely, wonderfully, in my heart instead of in my mind. I heard an inner voice - not my own voice, but one very familiar - assuring me of a good time, as if the result I had wished for was being given to me as a gift; I had only to reach out with my determination and take it. I resolved to treat the last two miles like a "Self Transcendence 2 Mile Race", only one where I was starting a little more tired than usual!

100m Ahead of me I saw Narmada, who later finished third among the women, running very strongly and I set about catching her up with the idea that this was the thing to do; not sure why. Soon I was flying along at the pace I had started the race - something I hadn't ever achieved in the closing stages of a marathon! I passed Narmada, feeling totally focussed, breathing hard like I do when racing a short distance, pushing myself with every step. The turn off to the finishing chute came around and I could see the clock still on 3.19 and a few seconds - those final few yards just dissolved and I placed my foot on the line with 3.19.44 on the clock. Immediately I felt waves of ecstacy and gratitude and all I could do as I swayed through the chute was to mumble "thank you, thank you" repeatedly, head bowed, joy coursing though my whole being and blending with the physical sensation of total fatigue and the mental waves of relief.

The Self Transcendence Marathon - a most inspiring race, and a most elevating and joyous experience. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Race stories - more articles

I remember my first ultra-run. It was with a group of friends who had decided to run from London to Brighton. Our course was about 50 miles. The furthest I had ever run before that was a marathon. It felt like a big jump - almost double the distance. It was a step into the unknown. I had no idea if I would be able to do it or what I would experience.

I was fortunate that the group contained some experienced ultra-runners who had already covered this kind of distance (and much longer) many times. But the other half of the group were newbies, like me. Looking back on it, it was the perfect introduction. It was not a race, it was relaxed. There was no pressure to keep to a particular pace, we had lots of breaks (including a picnic!), it was a beautiful route through some charming villages, and most importantly it was a lot of fun! Of course it did get more and more difficult, but we all pulled together and everyone finished.

I felt a real sense of achievement because I wasn't sure whether I would be able to complete it. Afterwards, travelling back in the car it suddenly hit me. This was a really long way - it was even taking a long time by car on the motorway! We ran that whole way. Wow!

This is the thrill of ultra-running. You can do so much more than you think you can. You can go beyond your limits. We all limit ourselves. We tell ourselves that we can do this and can't do that. We create boundaries for ourselves. But the reality is that we can do far more than we think. My meditation teacher, Sri Chinmoy, takes it one step further: "We are all truly unlimited, if we only dare to try and have faith". So, there are actually no boundaries to what we can do. Just consider that!

This process of going beyond your limits Sri Chinmoy called "self-transcendence". He was, himself, the very embodiment of self-transcendence - endlessly creating. He drew millions of bird drawings, created over 100,000 poems, composed over 23,000 songs, gave 700 peace concerts around the world as well as excelling in weightlifting and many other diverse activities. Self-transcendence in the ultra-running world took the form of multi-day races which over time would increase in length from 6-day to 10-day, 700 miles to 1000 miles and then 1300 miles. Eventually it would culminate in the 3100 mile race - the world's longest running race, which is now held annually.

Self-transcendence is an inspiring goal but we all know in practice it can be very hard. Our muscles become very stiff so it is difficult to move, we get blisters, injuries assail us, our energy levels can crash and our stomach can find it difficult to digest everything we are taking in. However, I came to realise that although these were difficult experiences, they were not the hardest thing to overcome.

After running a marathon in one of my best times, I was talking to an ultra-running friend. He also ran the marathon but was inspired to run in a 47-mile race only 3 days later. To me this seemed crazy. It would normally take me a few weeks to really recover from a fast marathon and I would definitely leave it a few months before running another long race. The idea was unthinkable and so I didn't even consider it.

However, I met a few other people who also wanted to run this race and somehow I got caught up in the inspiration. That tiny mental shift from thinking something is impossible to entertaining it as a possibility allowed things to change... fast! The idea kept gnawing away at me until I felt that I should, in Sri Chinmoy's words, "dare to try" - for the experience if nothing else!

The start of the race felt odd. Normally I would find this part very easy - I would just have to control myself not to run too fast - but this time I was running slowly because I had no choice! I was still very stiff from the marathon. I was laughing because the idea of running 47 miles when I was already struggling in the first few miles felt crazy. But slowly things started to loosen up and I began moving quite well.

However, just after the half way point things started to get difficult. Very difficult. My energy really dipped. Instead of being one of the faster runners on the course I was now one of the slowest. Many people were passing me - even some old, non-runners. I had nothing left, I was finished. My thoughts compounded the problem: of course I couldn't do this; I was never any good at endurance events; what was I thinking? I should just quit the race and spend my time doing other things that I enjoyed more etc... When everything is hurting it is very easy to convince yourself to stop.

After a few miles in this sorry state I bumped into my friend Karteek (an experienced multi-day runner and English Channel swimmer) who was also running the race. I told him all my problems and that I really just wanted to give up. He encouraged me like anything to continue... but I was stuck in my own mental space and didn't want to listen to him.

But then I realised that he was also moving very slowly. I expect he had many more problems of his own, maybe they were worse than mine - but he was in a very cheerful, positive mood and had never countenanced the idea of pulling out. And this was the big difference between us. It was this difference that meant that he would finish the race while I would give up.

So - I decided to continue! It was very difficult but the energy crash did eventually go. Maybe it only lasted for 45 minutes or so but it felt like an eternity. However, it did go and I did finish. It was an important lesson. The difficult times will pass.

My main obstacle to finishing the race was not my physical suffering or even the energy crash. It was my own thoughts. I had let my thoughts run wild and they had convinced me to stop.

Our thoughts are incredibly powerful. They can control and bind us. How many thoughts we have at every moment! Thoughts about the past - regrets and problems, thoughts about what could happen in the future, worries and anxieties. Most of these thoughts are unnecessary and can often affect us in a negative way.

If we can learn to still our minds and focus on the present moment then we can simplify our lives and are able concentrate on what is important. We can harness the power of positive thoughts. This is the art of meditation. Meditation can have a positive influence on our lives and on all our activities - including ultra-running.

A few days later I had my third lesson in ultra-running. An experienced multi-day and 3100-mile runner, Ushika, invited me to join him on a 7-mile run. However, after completing both races my body was depleted and was horrendously stiff. I was struggling to walk around, so I declined his invitation. However, he wasn't giving-up on me that easily! So, I thought I would give it a try...

I have to say he was very patient with me. I was a series of complaints and problems but Ushika always had an answer. My Achilles is hurting so much. "Well, try doing this stretch". I have a sharp pain in my hamstrings. "OK, we will walk for a bit". I am feeling tired. "OK, let's stop for a few moments". Like this, eventually we covered 7 miles and for periods I was jogging fairly comfortably, albeit slowly.

How is that possible? This really blew my mind. When I was running with Ushika I felt like there really were no limits to how far you could run. You just had to find solutions. Again, it was a difference in attitude. I was always focusing on my problems and finding reasons why I should stop, but Ushika was always finding solutions so we could continue. Maybe this was the "faith" part of Sri Chinmoy's aphorism. Ushika had such belief that he would complete the distance that problems were just temporary setbacks and not insurmountable obstacles.

So, these are three things that I have learnt about ultra-running: you can do much more than you think you can; don't let negative thoughts control you and force you stop; when you have a problem, don't give up but look for a solution - there will always be one, you just have to keep trying!

Or, as Sri Chinmoy says: "We are all truly unlimited, if we only dare to try and have faith".

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About the author:

Nirbhasa is originally from Ireland but currently lives in Reykjavik, Iceland. He is an enthusiastic multi-day runner, having completed four times the Sri Chinmoy Self-Transcendence 3100 Mile Race - the longest race in the world.

In 2013, after many years of trying and some very near podium misses, Tejvan Pettinger from the Sri Chinmoy Cycling Team won the national cycling hill-climb title, one of the top races on the UK national cycling calendar. Tejvan began cycling in earnest in 2005, but despite being a promising rider the prospect of a national title seemed very much like a faraway dream.

In the year before his passing in 2007, Tejvan's Guru (or spiritual teacher), Sri Chinmoy, made quite a few references to Tejvan being 'our cycling champion'. Sri Chinmoy preferred to teach his students through silent meditation, and was not one for frivolous comment; often these seemingly offhand remarks had a way of awakening his students to new possibilities. (For example, also in 2006-7, Sri Chinmoy repeatedly and seemingly offhandely asked another student, Grahak Cunningham, whether he had done our longest race, meaning the 3100 Mile race. Even though up until then he had very little ultrarunning experience, Grahak was inspired to start that race and see what happens - he went on to finish the race on his first attempt, and later won the race in 2012).

As the years went past, Tejvan realised that the goal of a national title was indeed possible and put more and more focus on it, both physically in terms of being in the best shape and having the right equipment and approach, but also inwardly in terms of being receptive to divine Grace - a journey which culminated in everything coming together in 2013 for the ultimate prize.

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